It's not a toy: British Camp

So Claudia phoned and said wouldn't it be nice to climb a hill (Malverns), as I had just reached my 5th can of lager I said yes (at that point I generally say yes to nine out of ten questions asked). Sam completed the call to Claud and carried on drinking the falling over juice. Sam used to go there as a kid and remembers a good spot.

I wake up to find we are going to British Camp, come on this has to be a set up for a gag (or at least a carry on style ooh eer). British Camp (oh no were are not , we are just very keen on musicals and are very in touch with our mothers). Claud is wearing the sexy bandanna, she is currently a crack (part time) freedom fighter, fighting the war against photos being taken of her without her sun glasses.

First though its a shopping trip to Banbury, ah sweet Banbury with its lovely smelling Kraft foods and dog food factory. I love Banbury as one who loves an ugly pet, who has just rolled in badger poo. The name Banbury is derived from "Banna", a Saxon word meaning "ghastly sprawling retail park with all the soul sucked out by accountants ", although I might have made that up.

Now on to the far reaches of snigger British Camp and to fortify the walk a nice cup of tea and our own body weight in sarnies (lashings of ginger beer etc). Ok now to the much applauded toilets (the web site say "The gents public toilet used to have a good view, but now obscured by frosted glass. Grid ref SO761402." honest !). Here is Vinny and me ordering the women folk to do our bidding (to be truthful, with no effect what so ever) as shown here by Elizabeth showing me that face which means "your not funny and you need to pay me more pocket money"). So armed with an empty bladder and an eye on what time the ice cream shop shut

we set off. Vinnie at this point un-sportingly started answering "Yes" to my question "are we there yet " every time I asked it, approximately every twenty seconds or so. After the first twenty yards we realised that we foolishly hadn't packed oxygen and there wasn't a friendly Sherpa to be seen. Quickly things started to turn nasty and I started eyeing up my fellow climber as not so much companions but as walking meals should the worse happen. Eventually we started to make progress in the climb and the very summit was in our grasp. To take our mind off the dizzy heights we chatted about military hardware and hurting small animals (hey do I knock your hobbies).

I really should have used some panaromic software to stick these together, but life is too short

Yes I admit There were some very nice views from the top and it was a great way to get the small people walking on what can only be described as a glorious summers day. Making sure that most of the children that we had set off with were still with us we took a lower road back.